The Woman of the House
By: LIZ HARDIE
As a woman, finding your voice and finding your place anywhere in your own life can be very difficult
No matter how hard you work and no matter how much you know, there will always be those that disrespect
Men that believe in the traditional stereotypes about masculine behavior, passing judgement on woman
Believing the woman should be in the home raising kids, the men work they have the power and the intellect
This is a joke and any woman who actually believes this, obviously has been brainwashed by someone
Women are equal to men in each aspect of life and leadership including decisiveness, assertiveness, confidence
Not just opinion, leadership studies prove that woman react more decisively and women and men are equally suited
Yet you still find the men who speak down to you, speak negatively of women, their bodies, with such innocence
When you speak back to them, you are weak and you are complaining, told that you are just being overly emotional
Have they been assaulted, raped, in a relationship with a narcissist, have those who love you only belittle you
The mental and physical abuse my body took is unimaginable, yet you speak out of turn and you are the weak one
Some of the words and phrases I hear men use, the way women are spoke to, it is disgusting, so respect I pursuit
Knowing the fear I felt after the assault and rape, how worthless men made me feel in relationships, it still happens
From time to time I come across men who feel they can treat women poorly, showing how sexist this world still is
Regarding attitudes, clothing, referred to as “slut”, “bitch” and phrases “she’s in bed with him” or “they deserved it”
Could this be why many rapes go unreported, why women are silent in life, believed they are at the bottom in biz
Throughout the years, throughout my therapy, I have learned that you must use your voice and speak up
If you believe that something is not right and you want to be heard, you must speak your peace, make them listen
As hard as this may be, I have finally found my voice and I will speak for those who are afraid to speak up
Never having the confidence, I now refuse to be belittled by anyone, I know my worth, views no longer stay hidden
In a recent position, phrases used: “she’s fat”, “as ugly as an old fat lady”,“using her looks to sell” and “titties”
These phrases rolled right of his tongue, it did not matter who was there, at least once a day you would hear these
As a woman who was once bulemic, do to being belittled and called fat and ugly, who has two girls, I was appalled
When I heard his words, past trauma rushed back, he triggered me, those words hurt, but I smiled to appease
The anger I felt deep down was hard to contain, I would comment respectfully, being raised to respect my authority
How this “business” man could speak so poorly of woman, their bodies, absolutely disgusted me, so disrespectful
He also had no respect in the way he spoke to woman, speaking down to us all, as if he was better, smarter
I did speak up on this, explaining I was not stupid, not to talk down to me, yet he continued, it was ineffective
Am I a feminist? I don’t use that word, I am a woman that believes that I am equal to a man, I work just as hard,
if not harder. I show up to work everyday, bust my ass, speak my peace, do an amazing job, am well respected
When an issue arises, I work hard to find the answer or ask for help, and yes, I express my thoughts and opinions
Some men have felt I was too agressive, others have spoke over me, both issues I prepare for but don’t expect
In a world where men and women have always coexisted, worked together, I do not understand the confusion, bias
We are no longer living in a time where woman stay home and the man provides the money, making all decisions
I financially provide for my girls, I provide them stability, love and support, I raise them alone in the house I bought
To me, there is no such thing as “man of the house”, I am “the woman of the house” with the power and vision