BY: LIZ HARDIE
Deep dark secrets, hiding behind the blank stare and smile
The baby of the family, the quiet, emotional, sensitive child
Hiding secrets is exhausting to your mind, body, and soul
Until you tell them, your life will never be complete, life will not be whole
Luckily, hiding was always easy for me, it is just how I grew up
Hiding behind two amazingly talented siblings, struggling to measure up
Excellent at everything they did, I knew I should not compare
Yet it was easy, after the assaults, it gave me a reason to not care
My oldest sibling, so intelligent, always smiling, worked so hard in school
Everyone who met her loved her, she was always happy, and cheerful, and never broke any rules
Her loyalty was taken seriously, friends were also family
Hiding behind her shining personality was easy for a hurt, dark soul like me
My older brother, so intellectual, and athletic, would never sit still
Hilarious yet calming, he excelled in all sports, with dreams ready and willing to fulfill
Even though he went through a rebellious stage, he got right back on track
Hiding behind his sense of humor was easy, with my moods so black
The youngest child who liked to be alone and no one ever questioned this
Although I never backed away from my family’s warm, gentle hugs or kisses
A lost girl, piece by piece, every inch of me had been ripped into sheds
Depressed, sad, remaining quiet due to threats and disgusting words monsters had said
To be able to hide behind my siblings, I was able to hide the pain, it all stayed in my head
As each day, week, month, and year passed, I prayed my secrets would disappear
Hoping it was just a bad dream, a nightmare, I just wanted to wake up with no more pain
Just like my father, I was reserved, hid in my sibling’s shadows, my secrets would remain
For years I kept them hidden, working it out day by day, through therapy and by myself
My siblings are so accomplished, one has several college degrees, another has a master’s, both excelled
Family never made me feel like a failure, I made myself feel this way
Hiding in their shadows my whole life, it was much easier to remain reserved and silent each day
Realizing I was not a failure in life, it was hard, a true struggle for me
Being beaten down for so long by so many, my worth was so hard to see
I may have hidden in the shadows at home, but family was always first to encourage
Once I finally spoke of my deepest secret, they lifted me, made me see my strength and courage
Every one of my family members listened to me, and never judged me at all
They made me realize I was able to overcome anything, always there to catch me
I was never a failure, I won in my life, as I did not let the monsters destroy my life
Book smarts may not be what I have, but I do have smarts in life, dealing with pain and strife
Hiding for years may have been my choice but I no longer must hide
I am the baby girl of two strong people who raised me to speak my mind
Hiding behind, being scared, and staying silent for so long, was a big mistake
I have now risen from my secrets, struggles, and pain, hoping others will do the same
Knowing it’s a step, a huge step I must take, all survivors must take