By: LIZ HARDIE
When reading fairy tales to a small child, you will always see a smile on their face
Children then believe fairy tales will happen but for me it wasn’t the case
I did at one time dream of finding that Prince who would sweep me off my feet
But unlike in the fairy tales the bad guy was never so easy to spot when you’d first meet
Sexual assaults turned my fairy tales into a nightmare at quite a young age
A young man my family trusted, locked my heart behind walls, inside a cage
My nightmare continued; raped as a teen, trust for anyone quickly disappeared
Never trusting people made it so hard to love, the worst I always feared
Although I was searching for the acceptance, to be “saved”, to feel someone’s “love”
In my twisted head that gave me self worth, something to be proud of
Pride and Self-esteem was taken from me when those villains forced themselves on me
A fairy tale was ancient history at that point but I did dream that my mind would be clear and free
Anything and anyone to take that pain away, I was was willing to try
Unfortunately, they were all villains too, set out to hurt me, break my heart and make me cry
Fairy tales are just that, made up stories to warm a young kids heart
As great as they can be, there are other traits children should realize they have from the start
I would be sure to tell all children to find their own happiness and to always be themselves
Know their own strength, be proud of who they are, never change for anyone else
Throughout my life, I lost track of what I wanted, what I needed and who I really was
My voice was silenced, I had no control, no hope, my happiness was hidden somewhere in the stars
So my fairy tale doesn’t match any fairy tale you will ever read or may want to read
I dream and pray, not of the fairy tale ending, but that God continues to bless me with all I need
Blessed with two beautiful daughters, they bring me happiness, raising them has been such a joy
Supporting them on my own, lifting them up, protecting them from anyone trying to hurt or destroy
Counseling and anxiety or depression meds are hidden and never seen in fairy tale stories
But looking at the big picture, it is the princesses in most fairy tales that deserve all the glory
As a child we don’t usually see this, hearing the story and along with the pictures we usually see one main point
Beautiful princess saved from the evil villain by the handsome Prince Charming, they never disappoint
Funny though, most Princesses did not need rescuing, they were two steps ahead, always had a plan
Smart, funny, beautiful, strong, now I realize I never needed “rescued” by a man
My mind was just clouded by the nightmares, pain and anguish those villains placed on me
The nightmares may remain but the fighter inside of me was finally revealed, the real me you see
As a Princess, deep down maybe I do want the fairy tale, as everyone deserves a happy life with a happy ending
My fairy tale just consisted of warding off many villains, evil acts and a lot of pretending
No more will I hide who I am, what I want, and what I need
My Knight is out there, willing to give me space yet he will be beside me, not to try to follow or lead
He will love me for me, understand my past and console me if asked when nightmares appear
Never trying to control me, he respects me, knows my strength and understands my fears
My beautiful girls will mean the world to him, he will respect them too
He should understand I will do whatever to make them happy, after all they have been through
I do not need protected, I can protect myself, I just want to be loved and adored
The things I expect of my Knight, I will give to him as well, this he can be sure
So fairy tales may not seem real, they may take many years to realize or even happen in real life
Keep the faith, pray, dream and you can make it through any pain and strife
I finally know my strength and I know if and when I’m ready and willing, there is a Knight out there for me
Will I ever be willing, have I met my Knight or will we meet in the future; I’ll just wait and see.