BY: LIZ HARDIE
Wake up, feel empty, just hoping your anxiety gives you a break
You slept 12 hours but it only feels like one
No matter what you do the feeling you can’t shake
Your heart pounds and you feel like you can’t breathe
Thoughts consume your mind and again you are lost
Lost for hours it seems, gaining your composure seems impossible
You wish you could exit this black hole, you would at any cost
The smile people see is usually a front and extremely fake
You have learned putting it on is the best option
Not at all for you but the ones around you
Although you are smiling, you begin to zone
Zoned out of the conversation, consumed again, lost in your thoughts
Worried people are looking, laughing, even ridiculing you
They’re simply laughing at the story being told but your anxiety had made you this distraught
Disconnected somewhat from reality, you truly can’t see the difference
You panic, you want to exit quickly, be back home in your safe place, sleeping again
As you lay in bed, the pounding of your heart starts continues, faster and faster
You finally cry yourself to sleep, unsure of why you can’t break this feeling you can’t stand
Not too long after you fall asleep, you are awoken by a horrid nightmare
A nightmare you pray won’t come, yet they wake you more often than not
Kicking, screaming, crying, sweating, you wish this nightmares would never come
The recurrent nightmares due to traumas that therapeutic treatment could not help when sought
Every day you awake, wondering if today you will deal with the same issues
You sleep enough or so you think but you are exhausted
You go out and seem happy to all but it took all you had to get there
Too much noise, too many people, it’s all so overwhelming, you sometimes feel disoriented
You worry when someone talks to you, will you speak like them or say the wrong thing
You want to apologize for everything even though you did nothing wrong, you are innocent
Saying sorry is easier for you, just the thought of confrontation makes you want to jet
Disconnected somewhat from reality, you truly can’t see the difference
You panic, you want to exit quickly, be back home in your safe place, sleeping again
Anxiety is a miserable feeling, can feel different for all, know that it weighs on their mind
Always remember, you do not know what battles anyone is fighting, be kind!
Featured Image by Sydney Sims on Unsplash