About

For years, I felt alone and spent my days consumed by my past, full of anxiety and depression. I thought I would never move on from the trauma and nightmares that haunted me. All those around me and those who met me would tell me I had the perfect life; a perfect childhood, the perfect teenage and college years, a perfect family. Feeling as if no one understood me or my perfect life, my secrets of childhood sexual assault, teenage rape, and abuse remained hidden. Clearly the front worked, life was not dreadful yet it was not perfect.

Medication, counseling, self-care; trying to “cure” my mental health issues from my trauma. I realized I never spoke of my past traumas, not one person knew of my sexual assault or rape. Staying silent about the mental abuse and physical abuse I endured. Living in unhealthy relationships and an unhealthy marriage, I never told anyone why. Finally speaking the truth about them, I felt a weight lifted off me. I opened up to all of my friends and family about my past traumas and walked away from all the toxicity.

I have learned to express myself, reflect on my life, work through experiences, and process my emotions through my writing. It is extremely therapeutic for me to be free to express myself without judgment, when I feel misunderstood. Although I still have nightmares, anxiety/depression, and anxiousness, I now have the tools I need to manage them much better. Being aware that I can be “triggered”, I am now much more prepared.

Throughout my life, I have been questioned about my demeanor and lack of emotions. Embracing the discomfort in my life is what I have learned to do. My so-called perfect life was and still is very uncomfortable but I am strong to live it.

This blog has been created to encourage others and let everyone know that they are not alone in their fight. Keep your head up, stay positive, stay strong, and take it one day at a time, one hour at a time. Never give up!