By: Liz Hardie
Victim mentality is a trait in those who believe they have no control due to harmful actions of others
They believe that bad things will always happen, their actions had nothing to do with it, even with evidence
These individuals will see bad in the good, carry grudges, never forgive, refuse to “move on”
A mentality that at times may feel powerless yet they can be very manipulative, some have a narcissistic arrogance
They can be very resentful, constantly believing that others are out to get them or they have no control over situations
Even though they may be able to fix the situation, they choose this negative or victim mindset
When offered solutions, they can give you many reasons why they wouldn’t work, leaving you frustrated or exhausted
Victim mentality is not inherited, it is a learned behavior that they can change with some positive thoughts and steps
Understanding that victim mentality could stem from anything, we must try to have sympathy for those who suffer
Maybe the individual experienced a trauma or they just experienced some tough times and this mindset developed
Wondering why they behave this way is a good question, the answer will vary from individual to individual
Most believe they have no issue and its unheard of for them to seek therapy or take anti depressant or anxiety meds
The research I have done says many victims of traumatic experiences are those who could develop a victim mentality
“Could” is the key word in the above, as not everyone with a victim mentality has experienced trauma in their life
Many who have experienced trauma do not choose that mentality as they choose to be a survivor not a victim
They want to show strength and responsibility since they survived, although being a victim they shouldn’t deny
Those who have experienced trauma may actually be victims, but you also have those who just like the pity
They have a victim mentality that is pessimistic, full of fear, using their “victimhood” to manipulate and control
As bad things happen in everyone’s life, these “victim’s” put on an act for attention, pity, as a substitute for self-worth
Playing the “victim” is a game they will always win, abusing you to make themselves feel better, draining your soul
As much as we should have sympathy for those who suffer, we also must not become consumed by their negativity
Set boundaries, make those boundaries clear, be prepared for them to start with the guilt-trips and manipulation
Those with the victim mentality do feed on empaths, so remain true to yourself but know when it is time to step away
Let your empathy be your guide, validate their feelings, hand responsibility back to them, its in your best intention
Photo by Shyam Mishra on Unsplash